Three Ways of Approaching Isaacs' Four-Player Dialogue Model

This week I purposely engaged in the four-player model of dialogue in three different ways.

First, I engaged in dialogue in a way I was not accustomed to.  I took part in a meeting on Friday with five other people. Two of them have very high rank within the University. Two others also have higher rank than my rank. One person is junior to my rank.

One person, who leads a campus abroad, began the meeting, and was very upset. She unloaded a number of vexing problems. I saw that this was an opportunity to "move" and discuss problems that we face in training her staff, because Advising  staff have been told to train via Skype, email and phone. I noted that Admission staff and other staff in the University have made numerous trips to the campus, but that Operations staff and Advising staff had not been sent to train staff. I spoke with my authentic voice in an effort to creat a new order of things, and set up new possibilities.

I also explained that I am engaged in a graduate program that is delivered online. I am familiar with different internet-based modes of synchronous and asynchronous communication. I said that these tools are useful, but that to really help to provide capacity for our colleagues abroad, we need to have a person work with them one on one. And, we have a new hire who will come aboard soon who will need to be trained.

The leader of the campus abroad immediately followed me and my contribution, as did a leader from the Provost's Office.

Second, I presented the four-player model of dialogue to my husband. He was very receptive. He pointed out that sometimes I impose my views on him, instead of respecting his wisdom. He also said that sometimes I am not a good listener. Sometimes, he is not a good listener either. We are challenged by our schedule. The  time that we have alone is from 5:00 a.m. until about 6:45 a.m. And here is breakfast-making and eating, yoga, showering, dressing, bill-paying, and sometimes homework-doing in that time period, too. I get home in the evening just after 7:00 p.m. My kids want my full attention then. So, my husband and I don't often engage in deep dialogue in the evenings.  We both learned from sharing and talking about Isaacs' four-player model of dialogue.

Third, I opposed a directive stated by my supervisor. My advisor said that I should not hold three info session meetings for students about study abroad. Initially, I was angry about the directive. But, then, with time, I softened and acknowledged the wisdom of my supervisor that I did not really see in the moment. I realized that my supervisor saw that I am already overworked, and working in the early morning and evenings. In her view, this created additional work for me to prepare three presentations. After my week last week, I really understood her wisdom.