On Tuesday, my mind was focused primarily on my
father-in-law. He was hospitalized. My husband, sons, and I visited him on
Sunday night. On Tuesday morning, very early, we received a call to let us know
that he was not doing well. He was expected to die. We decided that I would not
go to work. I stayed home with my young son. My husband left immediately to
drive to the hospital to join his mother and sister.
My husband and I kept in touch throughout the day. He called
in the afternoon, before my older son came home from school, to tell me that
his father had died. When I heard my husband cry, my body convulsed, and I
began to cry, too. I tried to keep this bodily reaction from my younger son.
After my older son came home on the school bus, he his
brother began to play. I saw that my sons were having a nice afternoon
together. I decided to wait to tell them about their grandfather when my
husband returned home. I thought it would be better to deliver the news when
all four of us to were together.
When my husband came home, I used my eyes to look into his
eyes. I held his hand, and then hugged him and kissed him.
He then went into our living room and told the boys that
Grandpa had died. I was aware then that I could provide comfort with my body. I
hugged both my husband and my older son while they cried. I kissed them and
stroked their hair.
My older son was very close to his grandfather. He cried
throughout the evening, as he asked us questions, and realized that he would
never get to talk with his grandfather again. I realized that because my son
nursed for more than two years, it is comforting for him to be hugged and lean
against my chest. I cradled him and provided him with comfort by letting him
rest against the softness of my chest. I observed that I provide comfort with
my touch and my embrace.
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