Mindfulness: Awareness of My Thoughts

On Friday, I was alone after my children went to school. I began to work on my schoolwork. I noticed that as I read, and as I wrote, thoughts of my job kept coming into my mind.

These thoughts of my job led me to think about certain problems at work. Although I was not meditating, I decided to push those thoughts out of my mind.  I realized that they were distractions.  I realized that I had a list of things to accomplish for my classes.  And, I had time alone to use for concentration and work.  I actively chose to think about my work for my Dialogue Processes class.

At one point, though, my focus changed. I did begin to think about my job and a specific problem. I realized that I was downloading solutions from the past. As I held Otto Scharmer’s book Theory U, I thought of a completely different way to approach this problem.

I turned Scharmer’s book over and read the blurbs on the back. The blurbs led me to a new thought. I had a significant new realization and then made a series of connections. From these thoughts, I have a new awareness.  I also have a plan, and a goal. I checked in with a good friend and told her about my realization. She was very excited about it, and enthusiastically endorsed my idea.

Now, I do not feel locked in or trapped by downloaded thoughts from my past.  Rather, I feel excited and a bit scared. This is a good combination and a good sign.  It means I am on a new path.