My Initial Vision of Coaching

To me, coaching is a lot like the active listening I engage in as an academic advisor.  It's also similar to conversational work I engage in with a person whom I supervise.

I want to make people feel comfortable in my presence. I welcome them to my office and offer my hand for a handshake.

I try not to focus on people's clothing, jewelry, shoes, etc. I smile at them and focus on their eyes.

With students and others, I am conscious of my body posture.  I face my feet and heart toward the person, and I look at their eyes. If the eye contact is too intense, I move my eyes around the person's face and back to the eyes.

The coaching can be about any subject.  But the tools I use are the same.  I ask the student what she would like to talk about.  Or, if I know the subject of the meeting, I may say, "so, you're having difficulty in your Studio course?" Tell me about what's going on.

As the  student speaks, I listen and work to keep listening. I push away other thoughts about other things that are due, or that I'm working on. I work to really be in the moment with the person and hear her.

I let the student speak. I acknowledge what she is saying by nodding or saying "um hmm" to show that I have taken in what a person tells me.  For instance, a student may explain that she is having difficulty with an instructor.  I listen, and then repeat back what she told me, using different words.  I wait for the student to confirm that I am understanding her correctly.

I listen until the student indicates that she has shared what she wanted to about the problem. Then, I begin to ask questions.

Often, a student has made an assumption about something. I see that she has based a truth on that assumption and has reached a faulty assumption. I don't tell her that directly. Instead, I will ask questions to help to her identify the assumption.  For instance, sometimes a young undergraduate will be very emotionally affected by critique of her work. She may say, "my instructor hates me."

I'll ask what happened, what the instructor actually said. I'll listen. The student may reveal that the instructor gave a harsh critique of the model she built.  I will reframe the instructor's statement, and explain that I'm reframing it -- and that the comments are about her work, but not about her as a person. I unpack a reframed idea about the situation for the student.

I will see what she thinks of that idea, and listen again. And, we usually go back into question mode again.

Then, we will talk about strategies for the situation. I'll ask what she could do. Could she talk with the instructor about how she felt about the critique? Can she do this alone? Would it be helpful to do this with me, and have me in the room in a conversation with the instructor?

My vision for coaching includes understanding the catalyzing  process better. I want to learn how to provide a catalyst for the coachee.  And, I  want to learn how not to give advice during the coaching session, but rather help the coachee to reach conclusions.